When Love Turns Toxic

What God Says About Unhealthy Relationships

Let’s be honest—love can make us a little bit blind, a little bit hopeful, and sometimes, a little bit foolish. We’ve all seen that friend (or let’s be real, been that friend) who’s stuck in a relationship that looks more like a dumpster fire than a divine blessing. But what does God actually say about toxic relationships? Should we stick it out in the name of love, or is it okay to walk away when things turn harmful?

Here is where a lot of believers get it wrong. They often put relationship issues in the category of “let go and let God,” ignoring that the Bible has some pretty clear wisdom on this, and—spoiler alert—it doesn’t involve staying in situations that destroy your peace, your joy, or your walk with Christ. So let’s dive in.

1. Seek Wisdom and Discernment

Ever made a relationship decision based purely on feelings? Yeah, me too. And how did that turn out? Exactly.

Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight."

Translation? Our emotions aren’t always the best GPS. God’s wisdom, however, is flawless. Pray. Ask for wisdom (James 1:5). And if everyone in your life is raising red flags about your relationship, maybe it’s time to stop trying to repaint them green.

2. Recognize Your Worth in Christ

You are not a bargain-bin item on clearance. You are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14). If someone treats you like you’re disposable, manipulates you, or makes you feel small, that’s a them problem—not a you problem.

God didn’t create you to be someone's emotional punching bag. If you’re constantly questioning your worth because of how someone treats you, it’s time to remember how God sees you: loved, cherished, and worth dying for.

3. Avoid Relationships That Lead You Away from God

2 Corinthians 6:14 warns us, "Do not be yoked together with unbelievers." Now, before you start quoting missionary dating success stories, let’s be real—if your relationship is pulling you away from Christ instead of pushing you toward Him, that’s a problem.

If your partner encourages sinful behavior, mocks your faith, or makes you compromise your relationship with God, you don’t have a romance—you have a spiritual battle. And that’s not the foundation for a God-honoring relationship.

4. Do Not Tolerate Abuse or Harm

This one’s simple: love does not hurt.

Ephesians 5:25 says, "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her." That means love is sacrificial, selfless, and safe. If your relationship involves physical, emotional, or verbal abuse, hear me: God does not want you to stay in harm’s way.

Love should never make you afraid. If it does, it’s not love—it’s control. And control is not from God. Get help. Seek safety. You are not alone.

5. Surround Yourself with Godly Counsel

Proverbs 11:14 "For lack of guidance a nation falls, but victory is won through many advisers." In other words, don’t make relationship decisions in isolation.

Talk to trusted Christian friends, mentors, a pastor, or a counselor. Let people who love Jesus and love you speak into your life. Sometimes, they see the storm clouds forming long before you do.

6. Set Boundaries and Walk Away if Necessary

Boundaries aren’t mean. Boundaries aren’t un-Christian. Boundaries are biblical (1 Corinthians 15:33). If someone’s toxicity is poisoning your peace, your joy, or your relationship with God, you have permission to step back—or step away completely.

If your presence in their life is enabling them to continue harmful behavior, removing yourself might be the most loving thing you can do. Pray for them from a distance, but don’t stay in a relationship that is destroying you.

7. Wait on the Lord for a Healthy Relationship

Psalm 27:14 encourages us to "Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord." God’s best is worth the wait—and it’s never found in a relationship built on dysfunction, manipulation, or harm.

God is not withholding love from you; He’s protecting you until the right love comes. Trust Him. He’s got a way better love story for you than the one you’re trying to write for yourself.

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Final Thought: You Are Not Alone

If you’re in a toxic or abusive relationship, please don’t suffer in silence. Talk to someone. Seek help from a trusted friend, church leader, or professional counselor. And most importantly, remember this: God’s love for you is perfect, safe, and whole.

Would you like prayer? Drop a comment below —I’d love to walk alongside you.