Nothing drives me more crazy than a job almost done well.
I understand there is value in celebrating the 99% done right instead of focusing on the 1% that was missed. “Well done, friend. You were so brave. Good job” Yes, I took many psychology courses in college. I know how positive reinforcement works.
But I have to ask, does anyone still care about the 1% that was missed?
And do we realize that not all “one percents” are equal? After all, getting to work and realizing I forgot my watch is definitely not the same as walking into the office and realizing that I forgot my left shoe.
I still care about the 1%. I still believe that if a job is worth doing, it’s worth doing right. The thing that is missed matters. Specifically, which thing was missed matters even more. Not all oopsies are created equal.
As much as I value excellence and the right job being done right, I’m not scurrying my fingers across this keypad to inspire you to “do better.”
There is a much bigger conversation to be had.
THINK - BE - DO
When we evaluate the things we do, especially when we hope to change the things we do, we have to look beyond the action. Scripture and Psychology would agree that there is a motivating force that causes us to do the things we do.
Proverbs 23:7 says “as a person thinks in his heart, so is he.”
The belief systems we partner with in our heart, shape us.
One day, when I was trying to lose weight and get fit, my daughter said, “dad, you just need to say that you are eating healthy because you are fit, not because you have to eat healthy.”
I just say “I’m fit?” I thought it was a sweet idea, but maybe a little naïve. Maybe she didn’t realize how much I really liked to eat and how much I loathed exercise.
I had no idea that the simple phrase, “I’m fit,” would be the catalyst to my fitness efforts actually paying off. From that moment forward, I would look at that ice cream tub of pure goodness, glistening with frost, calling my name and respond with, “Nah. I’m fit.”
I would be lying if I said I didn’t have my weak moments. There were times “I’m fit” was swallowed up by “I’m fat anyway, give it to me!” For the most part, however, I stood by the motto. I said it often enough and long enough that I eventually started to believe it. Strangely enough, as I started to believe I was a fit person, I began to make fit decisions willfully. Joyfully. I was finally becoming who I believed I could be.
I am convinced that if I had ignored her suggestion and continued to white knuckle the eating plan and gym routine, I would have encountered yet another failed attempt of changing my life. Thankfully, I shifted my focus from what I was doing to who I was becoming!
With the notion of excellence, it’s tempting to only focus on the outcomes - on what we do.
However, the seemingly short-sighted goal of behavior modification fails to mine for the gold in each of us. What we do flows out of who we believe we are. Let’s not just evaluate our behavior and surface-level actions, let’s dig a little deeper and discern the “BE” that is driving my “DO.”
If “DO” (my actions) flows out of “BE” (what I believe in my heart, my core being), then what does “BE” flow out of? What determines the belief systems in the core of who I am? (For those who read subheadings, you’ve already guessed it!) What I believe in my core is shaped by my thinking.
THINK - BE - DO
The ultimate goal is for these three to be in alignment. Doing is important, but it should happen “because that’s just who you are;” and that’s “who you are,” because you have committed to thinking patterns over time.
When we are shaping an organization or our family, we often look at the symptoms instead of the root causes. We look at behavior, outcomes, metrics because they are tangible and measurable. They are easy to notice. For example, we look at things like “punctuality” but “punctuality” is not actually the problem; it’s the fruit of the problem.
The real problem that is sabotaging punctuality could be:
I don’t believe it’s an honor to serve my company’s vision.
I believe I am entitled to my paycheck rather than blessed by it.
I believe my needs right now are more important than my commitment to standards.
I believe no one will notice I’m late because I don’t add much value anyway.
I believe my time is more valuable than the team of people waiting for me to arrive.
or any number of other faulty belief systems!
I could address punctuality with someone that is consistently late, but it would be more helpful to get to the source of the problem.
Often times, we try to pluck off the rotten fruit instead of nourishing the roots. Inevitably, more rotten fruit grows because rotten roots can’t produce healthy fruit.
(I presented this material recently on Team Night at our organization and Greg Wheeler came back with a brilliant representation using a tree. Thanks, Greg!)
The THINK - BE - DO Connection
Our actions are the things that are most visible. What we DO matters 100%. Our actions provide shade and cover for the weary traveler. Our fruit nourishes the soul of those that choose to extend their hand in connection.
What we BElieve in our heart is the framework that gives birth to and restrains our actions. Maybe you have tried to modify a behavior but repeatedly failed and have ultimately resorted to believing “that’s just who I am.” I’ve got good news. That’s not who you are! Someone has lied to you and you’ve been believing the lie. There is still hope.
Our THINKing patterns and habits are the roots that determine if we are moving toward health and healing or decay and dysfunction. Romans 12:2 tells us we are transformed by the renewing of our mind. Transformation begins with how we think.
An exasperated parent in the South may sigh, “use that brain that the good Lord gave ya.” A snarky older brother may snipe, “use your brain, genius!” The counselor might suggest that we “think before you speak.” Teachers may caution us to “think before filling in the blank!”
Think! Everyone tells us that we need to think, but no one ever teaches us how.
How do you think?
When you think about your family, career, relationships, goals or dreams… how do you think? (Notice, I didn’t ask “WHAT do you think?”) When there is a problem on your team at work, how do you think? When you get married and are trying to establish your own family apart from both families of origin, how do you think?
It seems like such a simple question, doesn’t it? Yet, it feels difficult for most people to give language to. We can easily communicate what we are thinking and most often why we are thinking it… but HOW? How are we thinking? Ummmmm….
Let’s take a step back and give some credibility to the question at hand.
The goal of every leader and the goal of every parent is NOT “to get them to do what I want.” No, the goal is “to get them to think like I think.” We don’t wish to create carbon copies of ourselves, but the impartation we hope for is much bigger than just getting the person to replicate the specific behavior that was desirable in that moment. Because sooner or later, that employee or child will be in a different situation, with differing circumstances, and they will need more than simply a learned behavior to fall back on. That’s right, they will need to know how to think.
Intrinsically, we know the value of thinking. Possibly, we didn’t realize that measurable actions like excellence or poor behavior flows from our belief systems; but we certainly know that using our brain is critical. Afterall, we’ve heard it our whole life. “Think! Think! Think!”
Ironically, no one ever teaches us how.
In future posts (and at Team Nights here at The Exchange), we will look at tools and strategies you can deploy to help you think. You will break out of the thinking patterns that have failed to serve you well by dipping into the FOUR THINKING WELLS that every leader should drink from.
Together, we’ll learn how to think.
Until then, what do YOU think about the “DO” and “BE” connection? Can you share with us any behaviors or actions you’ve noticed in your own life that have been supported by believing a lie about yourself, God or the world?
Your courage to share your own experience may just be the shade that the next traveler needs to rest under today.